Well Past 50: The Weblog of Boomerful.com

Where There's Smoke...

We just keep getting good news at Well Past 50!  First it was bacon for longevity, then Dr. Lipschitz tells us we need to gain weight (the bacon will help that) – now we find out that marijuana may help prevent Alzheimer’s. 

A recent article reports that THC, the active ingredient in pot, works more effectively than commercially marketed drugs in treating the debilitating effects of the disease. We already knew that marijuana relieves glaucoma and reduces the side effects from cancer and AIDS treatments. Now we find out it may help keep our memories intact. So why is it that we are not writing our congressmen and insisting that marijuana be legalized for medical purposes? 

We thought the stuff was a cure for everything in the ‘60s and ‘70s – boredom, datelessness and dull personalities. How did we become so stuffy in our later years that we can’t realize the enormous value of a substance because its misuse overshadows the benefits? Countless studies give medical use of marijuana a chance to redeem itself, but we choose to see the negative.

Beer and whiskey have no redeeming value that I can see – and yet their ad campaigns keep our children rushing out to guzzle them down as soon as they can find a friend with a fake id or a wino who will take $5 to make the purchase. Cigarettes are far more insidious in my opinion. There’s no such thing as a fine aged Marlboro to justify their existence. Yet lobbyists continue to keep cigarettes available to every person in America who wants to commit a slow suicide, taking friends and loved ones with them via second-hand smoke. But give us a drug with real potential to help our aging population and our government refuses to legalize it because of puritanical misconceptions about its use leading us down the dark road of addiction.

I was not a pothead in the ‘60s.  Pot made me giggle uncontrollably, then immediately fall asleep.  At nineteen that wasn’t a good start to a party evening.  When I'm 70 and the chemo has me hunched over the porcelain bowl, or I’m staring at a blank wall trying to remember my middle name, a good giggle and pleasant sleep doesn’t sound so bad.

We were activist in the ‘60s and ‘70s. We knew what we believed in and were determined to get it.

Now, we’ve become complacent. We know that pot has a valuable place in our medical repertoire,  yet we sit back allowing our government to decide what we should or should not have based strictly on the ridiculous hysteria of a conservative minority.

Ladies, we have long let our voices be heard when we had had enough of unfair legislation – the right to vote, the equal rights amendment.  Argue with me, agree with me or click on another blog that shares your opinion. But don’t ignore this issue. At least give it some careful consideration as you watch your parents and your friends suffer through chemotherapy, or waste away into a land where they will never again recognize your loving touch.

I’ve watched both happen in my life.  I hope they never happen in yours, but when they do you’ll realize that we don’t have time to sit back and wait for other people to make something happen.

The Chubbier the Better!

Here’s the best tidbit of news I’ve come across in years. According to David Lipschitz, MD, PhD, on webmd.com: “…dieting is not good for you.  The idea that being overweight is a major predictor of illness is not borne out by the facts. After the age of 45, life expectancy and health is optimum in individuals who are pleasantly plump.”  This may be the first time ever that I fell into the optimum range without even trying. Dr. Lipschitz goes on to say, “Being too thin or morbidly obese has a poor outcome, but individuals who are 10% to 15% above their ideal body weight tend to have the best chance of a long and independent life.”

Hooray for Dr. Lipschitz! There should be ice cream flavors in his namesake. The Lipschitz Chocolate Caramel Nut Fatty. The Lipschitz Pleasantly Plump Marshmallow Fudge Swirl. Women everywhere who have struggled with the 10-15 extra pounds that automatically attach to their midsections at age 45 should be writing love letters to this man. “Dear Dr. Lipschitz,  I am a 57 year old pleasantly plump woman looking for an enlightened medical practitioner of the Jewish persuasion to spend my life eating chocolate chip cookies with – preferably nuts (the cookies – now stop it!).”

Mind you, Dr. Lipschitz also says a little exercise is not enough – the more you exercise the better…maybe just an afternoon fling with Dr. Lipschitz would do. Noting that Dr. Lipschitz also says that the way around letting fatigue put a damper on your sex life is to have morning sex - “the morning is a great time for sex” – maybe a casual friendship would be enough.

The news is still good. We already knew we had to exercise, but I think most of us have long believed that we need to stay THIN to be healthy as we age, a la Kathryn Hepburn and Jessica Tandy. Dr. Lipschitz says that after age 75, the chubbier the better. 

Don’t worry, Dr. Lipschitz. I won’t go out and start chowing down on Ben and Jerry’s. If I did even an enlightened medical practitioner of the Jewish persuasion might begin to question the “chubby is better” philosophy.  But I will stop obsessing about the extra ten pounds that seem to want to live around my waistline. And I’ll try to walk the ten miles a week Dr. Lipschitz says is necessary for good health. I might even read his book, Breaking the Rules of Aging, and learn more helpful aging tips. With more tips like, “stay chubby” this could be a long and beautiful relationship.

Care for Yourself First

We hear time and again how the obesity rate in America is going through the roof, how many millions of people die from cancer each year or talk about the syndrome of the day (chronic fatigue syndrome, restless legs syndrome). The list goes on and on.

Why all of these sicknesses? Are humans really riddled with disease and pestilence? I don’t think so. It comes down to our self, our own self, that is really in control of our health and well being.

Caring for yourself and your body, everyday, in simple ways, is the best preventative medicine on the planet. And you are in control. Caring for yourself isn’t self indulgent, selfish or vain. It requires a lot of perseverance in a society that believes in using medicine and health care as an after-thought is the true path to well being.

Yes, medical doctors are essential for treating serious illnesses, and I’m not saying you should all pitch your physician out the window, but there comes time when you have to be honest with yourself and look at your lifestyle and make healthy changes before it becomes too late.

The meditative approach to health and well being has done wonders for me, and if we all took a moment to connect to our own source of healing energy, think of how this nation's health care crisis could be solved. There would be no health care crisis. It has been been shown that when 1 in 100 people meditate, the incidence of terrorist attacks, accidents and murders decreases drastically.

Something as fundamental as taking moment to focus on yourself: heart, mind, body and soul, that can heal your body and bring peace into this world at the same time sounds like a win-win situation to me. I can't imaging anyone finding an argument against that. So no excuses! It's time to take care of yourself FIRST.

Age Old Antidote

My oldest son was born when I was 17 years old - not the ideal age to begin parenthood. I took a short break and jumped back into parenting at 37. My two younger children were adopted. If anyone tells you there’s a difference between how you feel about your birth children and your adopted children, they are wrong. There is just as much joy, just as much gratification, and certainly as much unbridled agony from endless worry and stress.

I realize that neither of my forays into parenting have been “normal."  I was completely outcast as I sat on the bleachers at 25, cheering my Little Leaguer to victory behind home plate; and was viewed with pity when I sat on the bleachers at 55 and cheered my high schooler to victory on the basketball court.

When I was 17, parenting my son brought me maturity. I grew up fast. I went from reveling in the freedom of eating the chocolate chips without making the cookies, to sitting up all night stressing over how I would pay for the hockey gear my son desperately wanted.

I wouldn’t change a moment of the years I spent raising my son alone. I adored him, and still do. I made horrible mistakes and have suffered guilt and shame to last a lifetime over those mistakes. I have never completely recovered from my feelings of failure, even though my son grew into a man I admire more than anyone I know. He doesn't show any signs of bad parenting. I just couldn’t forgive myself for not being better at mothering. And perhaps, my desire to get back into parenting was a result of my need for a re-do. 

Boy, did I do it differently the second and third time around. No more adopted raccoons living in the house with us. No more late nights partying, then sleeping until noon. And definitely no more instability from changing the men in my life as often as I changed Eastern religious beliefs. This time I did it right - a stable marriage, moderate behavior and the image of June Cleaver that I projected to my children, my husband and my neighbors. 

Only now that my kids are pretty much grown up can I see that I may have over-reacted. But then I’m not sure any of us ever really gets it just right. We try so hard, only to find out we’ve managed to screw them up in some way we never would have expected.

So why do we try so hard? These precious little bundles of potential offer us our greatest challenges and our greatest rewards in life. For the most part, they love us back, even as we are in the process of warping their innocent little psyches. They make us laugh and cry. They make us think harder than any college course or work project we’ve encountered. They give our lives purpose and meaning.

I was 42 when my daughter was born, and, yes, I’m getting a little tired after raising children non-stop for 39 years. But I have a feeling that when my daughter leaves for college there will be other children in my life, whether they are foster children or Big Sister kids or weekly volunteering at the Boys and Girls Club. There is one thing I know for sure about children – they keep us young as they make us old and crabby . I know all the lyrics to every song on Britney Spears first three albums, which unfortunately only brainwashing could make me forget. I know what a “cami” is and wear them under “shrugs” occasionally. I am aware that tucking my T-shirt into my jeans is totally un-cool, and I know better than to ask someone with a bowling bag where their bowling ball is.

I have also been inspired to re-read my favorite novels by Kurt Vonnegut and J.D. Salinger. I’ve learned more Spanish than I learned when I took the class in high school. It’s much easier to learn when you’re trying to drive information into your child’s head than when some well-meaning adult tried to drive it into yours.

Children are the antidote to old age, memory loss and crotchety-ness. And the good news is – there are plenty of them to go around. There are thousands of older children waiting to be adopted. There are foster children in need of loving homes. There are opportunities to act as a child advocate or volunteer as a mentor. There are kids in hospitals who need someone reading to them, and kids “at risk” who need to know someone cares enough to bring them a Christmas present. Whatever their situation, children are little love sponges who will squeeze all the love you give them back onto you. 

I’ve been a foster parent, a Boys and Girls Club volunteer, and a child advocate. And I can tell you for sure that what they gave me was far greater than anything I gave them.

Exercise Helps Reduce Hot Flashes

Everytime I see an article on hot flashes, I'm there. The National Institutes of Health (www.nih.gov) are conducting an ongoing study about the effects of menopause, and their research is finding that exercise may curtail many menopausal symptoms like anxiety, insomnia and night sweats. An article on MSNBC summarizes the findings of the possible benefits of exercise to reduce hot flashes.

One woman in the article went from an hourly hot flashes to 5 or 6 a day, and she's losing some serious weight as well.

Is Being Single Bad for the Heart?

In one of my entries I mentioned a story about my grandmother, Florene, and how she died of a broken heart.

More and more we are finding out that there is more to our health than diagnosing our physical ailments. According to a report published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, there is a long-established correlation between health and marriage. Read article from the DailyIowan >>

The relationship between heart problems and single living boils down to lifestyle choices, the study found. Numerous established risk factors for acute coronary syndrome - smoking, obesity, high cholesterol level, less frequent contacts with the doctor, and decreased tendency to call for help in emergency situations - have a strong correlation with living alone.

The study didn't say exactly how relationships affect the body, but the researchers presume that there is also an emotional component to staying healthy: we take better care of ourselves when we feel cared for.

Five Herbs in a "Forever Young" Potion

While there is no such thing as a "miracle ingredient," we hear nutritionists and medical experts telling us all the time about the benefits of natural foods and remedies. I found an article at Softpedia.com that mentions five important herbal compounds that have many of the properties we need to keep our vitality going: Bilberry (aka blueberry), turmeric, garlic, ginseng and ginko biloba.

I'm all about buying fresh ingredients. Not only will our meals be a little more tastier, but the health benefits we get from a good dose of garlic will always keep me going back for more.

Sleep On Your Back and Other Tips

Sleeping on your back not only reduces the chance of reinforcing those pesky wrinkles, but is healthier because it gives your internal organs time to rest properly and not create pressure on each other as when laying on the right or left side. The Daily Mail offers some more health and beauty advice beyond the usual "watch your fat intake" and "wear sunscreen."

One thing I have never heard of is a form of exercise called "Tabata." More later ...

The Healing Benefits of Massaging

Does anything feel better than having someone rub your tired muscles?  Everyone in my family is a backrub junkie. My grown son comes over for dinner, lies down on the floor and begs, “Mom, could you rub my back?”  I’ve often thought that my boys substitute back rubs when cuddling no longer seems appropriate.

Backrubs, or massage, offers a wonderful bonding touch. But it’s also therapeutic. Study after study has shown that massage not only decreases chronic back pain, but helps alleviate depression, increases mental alertness, lowers blood pressure, and even reduces pain in cancer patients following traditional treatments.

My dear friend, Woody, went to the hospital daily to massage the feet of a friend of ours dying from cancer. His visits were the highlight of her day and significantly reduced her pain. What a gift he gave her in her last days.

For those of us who are only suffering the normal ravages of age, massage increases mobility, strengthens the immune system and improves posture.  The touch itself calms us and provides a sense of connection.

Although it has not been as often as I would like, I’ve grabbed every opportunity for a massage that I could get for many years. I’ve experienced a dozen different forms of massage, from Acupressure, to Ayurvedic, to Swedish, Shiatsu and Deep Tissue. I can’t say I’ve ever had a bad massage – having someone rub your shoulders, back and legs can’t be bad – but I’ve certainly had every degree of good.

I love the peaceful dripping of warm oil on your forehead, followed by a relaxing shoulder massage with Shirodhara treatments. Hot stone massage is fantastic for helping me relax into a pile of putty. But with my constant activity and stress level, my favorite massage of all is Deep Tissue. I love the feeling of someone really digging into my knotted-up muscles and kneading the tension out of them.

There are currently over 100,000 practicing massage therapists in the U.S., so there’s no excuse for not finding one that suits you.  Most states have licensing regulations, and besides…research has shown that it is almost impossible to hurt someone with massage.

Eighty to ninety percent of illness in America is caused by stress. So if the most you hope to get out of a massage is stress relief, you may just be helping yourself avoid or cure an illness. The older we get the more we need to find ways to stay mentally alert, pain free and mobile. Massage is a reasonably inexpensive and accessible means of accomplishing all of those benefits.

Besides – it just feels SOOO good!

Robotic Pets: Where is the Love?

U.S. News and World Report recently reported that robotic pets may have the same health benefits as real live animals. At this very moment I am sitting at my kitchen counter with Jack (the Lab/poodle mix that we mistakenly bought as a Labradoodle) and Barkley (a 120 lb. German Shepherd pictured with me below) nestled as close as they can get at my feet. It is storming outside – one of those storms that occurs with violent regularity during Spring  in the Midwest. There is crashing thunder, torrential rain and marble size hail. 

Every time there is a crash of thunder both dogs look up at me, worried, but comforted by my touch on their heads. Later, when I get into bed, they will both be there – either right next to the bed or squeezed in between my husband and me. I am their protector. And that’s okay, because if I needed their protection, they would be there for me, ready to fight any intruder to keep me out of harm’s way.

Is there a robotic pet that will do that? Is there a robotic pet that looks at you with soulful brown eyes that speak volumes about her love and dedication to you? Is there a robotic pet that whines his empathy when you’re grieving, and licks your tears away when you cry? Is there a robotic pet that gets so excited when you return home after a few days away that he pees himself and in the process, your new hand-looped rug?  Aside from the peeing, I can’t imagine living without the multitude of benefits my pets offer me.

Pets help lower our blood pressure, speed healing and reduce the stress hormone, cortisol.  A recent study at the UCLA Medical Center, showed that dogs provided more anxiety- reducing benefits to heart-failure patients than the presence of their human loved ones. Dogs keep us active – walking them, playing tug of war with them, cleaning the pee out of the rug.  Dogs make us feel secure when we’re alone. Dogs give us absolute unconditional love.

I’ve been raising children for 40 years now. I started early and wrapped up late (my oldest son was born when I was 17, and my daughter was adopted when I was 42). I know when I am finally child-free I will have a tremendous void in my life. But I’ve also always had pets, and pets help fill voids better than anything I know. 

There are so many things to look forward to as we regain our freedom.  We can pursue all the interests we didn’t have time for, travel to all the places our kids didn’t want to go, and enjoy the restfulness of solitude.  But we nurturers don’t really want to give up our most important role entirely.  And we don’t want to run the risk of facing loneliness or boredom as our lives change.

For people who can no longer care for a pet, or as therapy for patients in residential  facilities, I guess a robotic pet is better than no pet at all. But as long as I can throw a stick and sanitize my rugs, real live pets will be in my life – and in my home.

Footnote:  To all cat lovers – I in no way mean to be discriminatory toward our feline friends. I would also much rather have a real live cat than a kitty-robot.