Well Past 50: The Weblog of Boomerful.com

Do You Have a Turkey Terror Tale to Tell?

Well, Halloween is over and done with – and now it’s time to worry about Thanksgiving! How did our country ever get into the annual habit of cooking birds that are bigger than most house-pets? Have you ever had a unique or unusual experience, trying to cook one of those gigantic gobblers? Tell us your turkey terror tales – and feel free to share any other Thanksgiving stories you have to tell, too!

Good Etiquette Never Grows Old

When I was a kid I thought manners were something you acquired naturally as you grew up. All adults seemed to know how to set a table properly. They used their utensils in the right order, and never snorted milk through their noses. I assumed I would learn how to move like Cinderella at formal occasions, impressing everyone around me with my grace and elegance, as soon as I reached a certain magical age.

I thought that right up until my new boyfriend took me to a college event so formal that there were ten utensils surrounding my plate, which sat on top of another plate. There were five glasses, and the salt was not in a shaker, but in a tiny bowl with a tiny spoon. I was paralyzed with fear. A new boyfriend, and I didn’t have a clue how to eat my dinner. So I used a skill I had mastered when my parents would confront me with questions about my whereabouts the night before. I stalled. I talked to the person on my left. I adjusted my napkin. I took time to smile at all the other guests – the whole time watching carefully to see which fork my dignified boyfriend picked up first.

Many years later I was asked to write with, and for, Marjabelle Stewart, dubbed the Empress of Etiquette by TIME magazine. I learned more about table manners than anyone could ever need to know.  In Marjabelle’s mind there was nothing more important in life than good manners. While I didn’t share her intense passion, I had been embarrassed enough by my ignorance of the subject to pay close attention to her lessons.

At that first formal dinner my dignity was not in serious jeopardy. After all, people find it kind of cute when they see that recognizable look of terror cross the face of a young person who is seeing a formal dinner setting for the first time. It’s fun to help a young person acquire the skills they lack.  But there’s nothing cute about a 50+ business person who spits her food as she talks, laughs too loud in a restaurant, or eats the bread off of your bread plate.

Just for kicks, let’s review a few of those etiquette rules we may have forgotten:

• Place your napkin in your lap as soon as you sit down. When you leave the table, loosely fold your napkin and place it to the left of your plate. Some etiquette experts advise placing it on your chair if you leave to go to the restroom, but if you do, you run the risk of getting food on the chair and sitting in it when you pick up your napkin and sit down again.
• If you don’t know which piece of flatware to use first, start from the outside and work your way toward the plate. On the left of your plate are the forks. The largest fork is for the entrée. The second, smaller fork is for salad. If there’s another fork the same size as the salad fork, it’s for fish. The smallest fork on the outside is the seafood fork for shrimp, clams, oysters, etc. The seafood fork could also show up resting inside the soup spoon on your right.
• To the right of your plate are the soup spoon, the fish knife and the dinner knife. The fish knife is a small, pointed knife.
• Any flatware above your plate is for dessert.
• Your bread plate is always on your left, usually above your forks. The butter knife is usually placed on the bread plate.
• Your glass, or glasses, will be above your dinner knife. The largest glass is the water goblet.  If there are two wine glasses, the largest is for red wine, the smaller for white.
• When not using your utensils, rest them on the edge of your plate – never on the table cloth.  It’s messy. When you’re finished eating, place your knife and fork diagonally on your plate at the four o’clock position.
• It’s okay to share food, as long as it’s done discreetly and with a little finesse. Place a bite of your food on the bread plate, or on the edge of your companion’s plate for tasting.
• Even when you’re enjoying a nostalgic lunch with a group of female friends, try no to laugh like a hyena when you re-live a particularly hilarious moment from the past. Marjabelle always advocated speaking in low, intimate tones at the table - and never about topics that could make anyone feel uncomfortable, like your recent colonoscopy, how much you despise the Republicans, or your dire financial straits.
• If you notice a “small beast” floating in your water glass do not bring it to the attention of anyone else at the table. Discreetly hand the glass to your server and ask for a fresh glass.
• You can put on lipstick at the table, but not your mascara, powder or hairspray. (I hope you knew that.)

Some of it is common sense. Some of it may seem pretentious. But good manners make even the most down-to-earth among us seem elegant – just like Cinderella.

Color Me Healthy!

That great presentation on your plate may not just be visually pleasing – it can also be good for you.  A recent study mentioned in Psychology Today states that berries and other colorful fruits and veggies are full of polyphenols – an antioxidant that protects our cells from natural environmental stress and aging. These same helpful chemicals also found in green tea, olive oil and – whoo hoo – dark chocolate, also keep us vibrant and active. 

The study, soon to appear in the Journal of the Science of Food and Agriculture, makes it clear: Eat your colors!

Polyphenols are responsible for providing plants their vibrant hues. These include strawberries, cranberries, purple grapes and pomegranates. So, it appears that the more colorful your diet, the healthier you will be.

According to James Joseph, a neuroscientist and director of the Neurosicence Lab at the USDA’s Human Nutrition Research Center on Aging at Tufts University, these antioxidants keep our arteries supple and strong. And, they make for healthy brains, as well. He states it simply: “What’s good for your heart is also good for your brain." Eating fresh berries is the most beneficial as important compounds can be lost in processing. 

But, heart and brain health don’t only require a colorful diet.  We have to make it an ongoing lifestyle: diet as well as physical and mental exercise.

While we know the wonderful rewards our bodies and hearts gain from good physical exercise, activities such as reading books, working crossword puzzles and other brain workouts may aid in Alzheimer’s prevention. 

Lesson learned: it’s best when we get the color in and the lead out!

From “Eat Your Colors” By PsychologyToday.com

Entertaining the Simple and Fun Way

I have the same rules for planning any party – holiday or not.  Make it easy, make it fun, spend time with every guest. Since I travel on business frequently it’s important to me to be able to enjoy all the special people in my life at one time without stress. By planning ahead and keeping preparation to a minimum I can relax and really enjoy my guests.  Because I often include out-of-town clients with neighbors and family members at parties, my presence is essential to helping everyone get to know each other and find common areas of interest to discuss.  If I’m stuck in the kitchen while guests are arriving, it creates an uncomfortable mood that’s hard to overcome.

After years of trying to show off my culinary skills by preparing crown roast of pork and flaming desserts, I’ve found that I can keep certain simple ingredients on hand and spend less than an afternoon with food preparation and be ready to greet and enjoy friends when they arrive. After all, my guests are there to enjoy each other.  I just need to help them out by supplying food that’s easy to eat, beverages that everyone can enjoy and lively music to elevate their moods.

One of my favorite hors d’oeuvres staples is PIZZA! Not the delivery kind, but gourmet pizza that is so easy to make. I keep several Boboli pizza crusts in the cupboard and top them with different gourmet toppings.  One might be topped with goat cheese, sun dried tomatoes and thinly sliced red onions – another with a mixture of cream cheese, fresh grated parmesan and sautéed Portabella mushrooms.  A few minutes of preparation, a few minutes in the oven, then slice in thin wedges and serve.

Cream cheese is a great staple because of its versatility.  I also use it as a base for my homemade hot pepper jelly (a combination of jalapeno peppers, cilantro, garlic and onions that’s also incredibly simple to make). I pour the hot pepper jelly over the cream cheese in the center of a plate and surround it with a variety of crackers.

To accommodate low-carb dieters I always serve a cheese plate with good gourmet cheeses – goat cheese topped with pecans, a Baby Swiss and Gouda that they can eat without crackers.  Proscuitto wrapped around bite-sized pieces of cantaloupe, bowls of nuts, and a platter of sausages are also good low-carb finger-foods.

When I feel like getting fancy I get out the frozen puff pastry dough and wrap everything in the fridge.  My favorite wrap items are bite size pieces of beef tenderloin, brie cheese covered in pecans that have been drizzled in maple syrup and roasted, and canned almond filling.  Anything wrapped in puff pastry seems elegant, and it will stretch a small beef tenderloin into appetizers for 20.

Since most people will happily drink either wine or beer I buy a combination of red and white wine, Champagne (because EVERYONE loves Champagne), beer and soft drinks. The best wines to stick with are those that have universal appeal and don’t cost an arm and a leg. An inexpensive Shiraz is more drinkable than an inexpensive Cabernet, and a Pinot Grigio is lighter and easier to drink than a Chardonnay.

Some great choices in Shiraz are Rosemount and Lindeman’s.  Ecco Domani and Bolla make  nice Pinot Grigios, and all are under $12 a bottle.  Champagne doesn’t have to be expensive either.  Domaine Ste. Michelle Cuvee Brut is a pleaser at under $15.  For a more festive drink add Crème de Cassis to your Champagne for a Kir Royale.

Music is another essential component of a good party. People may not even be aware that it’s there, but it keeps moods elevated if it’s lively. Your guest may not think they like Andres Segovia’s classical guitar or mountain music by John Hartford, but played as background music at a party it adds interest, and just makes people feel good.

The best rules for making sure everyone has a good time at your party are: circulate among your guests making conversation with everyone there, dance when the music moves you, and have fun yourself. If you’re having a good time, chances are everyone else will!

My New Health Regimen: Wine and Chocolate

I always knew diet was important. When nutritionists began telling us that we could live longer by cutting certain foods from our diets and eating more of others, I had no doubt they were right. I just wasn‘t sure if I wanted to live longer without alcohol, chocolate or salty snacks. Now they tell us those are exactly the things we need to have more of if we want to cross into REALLY old age. Eureka! Nutrition had finally become my friend!

With new antioxidants being discovered every day, we completely lucked out when researchers discovered flavonoids in chocolate and started recommending that we add a half ounce of dark chocolate to our diet every day. It’s actually good to eat more, as long as you don’t finish every one of the Hershey miniature dark chocolates before you pour the bag into the office candy bowl.  Unfortunately, as you add chocolate squares you have to cut back on your potato chip consumption to reduce the extra calories.

The recommended intake of red wine keeps will thrill you, unless you’re a beer drinker, in which case you’ll just have to eat more chocolate. With an abundance of reservatrol in red wine, you can actually stabilize blood glucose levels by getting mildly drunk on two glasses of a good Zinfandel. If you drink 5 to 15 glasses a day you produce life-extending effects from cellular rejuvenation. Life gets better and better! Of course with 15 glasses of red wine every day your liver would shrivel up and hide behind your spleen within a week.

Okay, so here is my health care regimen: I’m relaxing in the evening, savoring my rich, dark chocolate bar – which, incidentally tastes magnificent with the Red Zin – when I realize that I’m missing the salty snack I love with my dark chocolate. Since I cut back on potato chips, I’m forced to grab a handful of roasted, salted almonds – a valuable source of omega-6 fatty acids, phytosterols and tocopherols, good for lowering my risk of Parkinson’s, and my cholesterol level. All I have to do now is eat a bowl of delicious, juicy blueberries before bed and my aching, arthritic joints feel better from the anthocyanins and polyophenols. 

Food just isn’t that complicated. I would bet that almost no one doesn’t know that potato chips are bad – almonds are good. This is all based on common sense – if we would ever listen to that little voice that provides common sense to us. And, just like my recent discovery that bacon is the secret to longevity for my parents, red wine and chocolate would be the secret to longevity for me, even without research to substantiate it.

The additional good news is that Dr.Perricone, the guru of food and vitamins for skin improvement, says that the above-mentioned foods, plus cantaloupe and salmon, will make you look younger within just a few days – IF that’s all you eat.

But nevermind. A healthy diet of fruits, nuts and salmon, with the luxurious treat of a little red wine and chocolate daily, will keep your skin looking good, your arthritis in check and, if I failed to mention it earlier, your brain functioning clearly.  Plus, you’ll have a great big smile on your face from enjoying the heck out of eating again.

Things You Should Know by 50...

There are certain things you simply should know by the time you hit 50. How to choose a moisturizer for your skin type; how to know when your husband wants to see you in naughty lingerie instead of flannel; and how to order wine in a nice restaurant. You SHOULD know, but do you? With the great work of the California Wine Council in recent years, we’re all drinking more wine - yet many, many women still don’t know how to choose a wine, how to order it correctly in a restaurant, or what to do with it when they get it.

If you entertain often, it is essential to have several good bottles of both red and white wines on hand, along with your everyday drinking wines. Everyday drinking wines are the ones that you don’t have to ration at ½ glass a day in order to be able to afford them. I have searched and tested and searched some more to find the very best values in both good and everyday wines – just for you.
Good Cabernets at a reasonable price are fairly uncommon, although I do like Sterling Vineyards Napa Valley Cabernet and Chateau St. Michelle “Indian Wells” Columbia Valley. For a great bargain Cab there’s Jacob’s Creek from South Eastern Australia. Some Chilean Cabs offer good values, too, but you’ll need the assistance of a knowledgeable wine salesperson to help you find them.

I love good Zinfandels, and they are much more affordable than Cabs. Murphy Goode’s Liar’s Dice, Norman’s The Monster, and Seven Deadly Zins are all around $15 and enjoyable to drink. I drink Pinot Gris in the summer – usually King Estate. It is light, crisp and refreshing.  And I really enjoy Acacia Chardonnay with its combination of fruit and oak.

It’s important to learn what you like in a wine so that you can describe it accurately. I’ve had friends describe a very dry Zinfandel as “sweet” because the wine is “fruit forward."  Wines can be “earthy”, “spicy”, “firm”, “muscular” – much like the men we searched for in our youth.

White wines, like Rieslings, are often sweet, while Sauvignon Blancs are bone dry whites with lots of fruit flavors that make them light and refreshing. Wines have flavors of chocolate, berries, citrus, black pepper…even stones. I rarely get the subtle overtones of coffee or licorice when I am enjoying a good Zin. I have learned that the Zins I especially like are “big," “complex” and “jammy."  So that’s what I tell the helpful wine purveyor when I’m shopping for something new.

It takes time to learn the subtle nuances of wine, and you can never learn about all the wonderful wines out there – there are just too many. So how do you buy wines you will like?  Learn, as I did, the basic characteristics you enjoy in wine. Learn enough about the options to know what you should have on hand, and ask lots of questions. When you are ordering in a restaurant it’s actually easier than buying in a liquor store. There are three simple, foolproof methods to ordering perfectly for a group:

1. Ask the waiter. If you’re in a nice restaurant the waiter should be familiar with the wines on the wine list. Ask your guests what they will be eating, then tell the waiter your entrée choices and ask for a recommendation. He/she should be able to recommend a wine that will go with the entrée choices.
2. Remember – light foods, light wine; heavy foods, heavy wine. If you are eating salads, fish or chicken, a light white wine, such as Pinot Gris or Pinot Grigio – (same thing), Sauvignon Blanc or a medium-bodied Chardonnay would be a refreshing accompaniment. A heavy, oily fish, like salmon requires something more full-bodied. If you’re eating steak or lamb, a red wine like Pinot Noir or Shiraz will compliment the food better. If you don’t know wine, don’t order heavy reds, like Cabernets. They can overwhelm many foods, need more time to breathe than other wines, and sometimes haven’t aged long enough to be palatable to a casual wine drinker. You don’t want the wine to become the focal point of the meal, so play it safe and go with wines that are very drinkable. Look at the prices on the wine list and choose one of the wines mentioned in #2 that is somewhere in the middle price range. The cheapest wine could be awful – the most expensive is not necessary.
3. Order a glass of whatever wine you would like and ask your guests what they will be having. When the waiter brings your bottle to the table for approval, actually look at it and make sure it is the wine you ordered. Restaurants will generally not switch brands of wine without telling you, but it is not at all uncommon for them to switch years of the same wine because they have run out of the year you requested. The wine they bring you could be worth considerably less than the wine you ordered. If there is a question in regard to the year you ordered, don’t hesitate to ask for the wine list back. You have just as much right to receive the right wine as the right entrée!

Once you have approved of the bottle, the waiter will uncork the wine. More sophisticated waiters will simply set the cork on the table. Others may hand you the cork, and stand there expectantly. If you feel like smelling the cork, go ahead, but unless the wine is in very bad shape (or you are wine expert Robert Parker), you are not going to be able to tell much. Instead, first look to see that the cork is not crumbly or soaked completely through. Either could indicate a problem with the wine. Second, check to see if the name of the winery is on the cork. Believe it or not, some of the more expensive wines are actually counterfeited, i.e., the wine is served, then the bottle is refilled with a cheaper wine and re-sealed (truthfully, your chances of this happening are about the same as being hit by lightning). If you do notice anything that looks peculiar about the cork, speak up! 

Next, the waiter will pour a small amount of wine for you to taste. Before you taste it, smell it! If the wine is bad, you will often be able to tell just by the smell – you do not want to taste a bad wine unless you have to – the taste is very hard to get out of your mouth. By the way, a “bad” wine does not necessarily taste like vinegar. More often it will taste strongly of must or mold (again, the chance of getting a bottle that has gone bad is fairly remote). Generally, it is not acceptable to send a wine back simply because it is not what you expected, or you are not crazy about the taste. Unless the waiter has pushed an unfamiliar on you, the assumption is that you have some idea of what you have ordered. Bear in mind that a wine (particularly a red) that is fresh out of the bottle will often taste very different 15 minutes after it is opened.  So when you are offered the taste, just take a small sip simply to determine that the wine is not bad.  Whites can be drunk immediately, but with a “big” red (e.g. Cabernet Sauvignon), have the waiter pour some in the glasses to breathe for ten minutes or so.  You’ll be amazed at the difference.

Never, ever be intimidated by wine. It’s a wonderful treat to be enjoyed, and, except for a very few connoisseurs, we’re all in the learning process. Who knew education could be this much fun!