For those of us who have been in relationships for 20, 30, 40 years or more, Valentine's Day may have become that arbitrary card-buying, candy-getting day that has little real meaning in our lives. Worse yet, our relationships may have become a series of arbitrary yet meaningless expressions of love - "love you, dear, good night".
Let's make Valentine's Day a day to start fresh, putting new life into old relationships. The best way to start is to fall in love with your partner all over again. Not so easy, with money worries, kids in college and aging parents to think about? Just take a moment to remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. Don't just remember - re-live it. Think of those moments locked in your memory when he did something that really defined what it is you love about him, and remember how it felt. Now hold on to that.
With those tender feelings locked in your brain, start to plan a special Valentine's evening as the start of a new commitment to the two of you. Do a little planning to make it special. Choose something to wear that is soft, feminine, a little sexy, and comfortable. Go for the naughty lingerie if you're comfortable in it, but not if it makes you feel awkward or self-conscious. Tonight you want to feel confident, in control, and focused on him - not what you're wearing.
Put Michael Buble on the stereo and open a bottle of champagne - the sparkles are sensual and thought of by many as an aphrodisiac. Don't go for tequila shots, which may seem sexy until they make you think you can sing like Roberta Flack. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face may be YOUR song, but the way your face looks after a few belts of hard liquor is nothing he wants to remember. And don't drink too much. You'll be asleep before the real romance begins.
Plan a meal that's light, and can be eaten with your fingers. There's nothing sensual about digging into a stuffed pork chop, followed by an Alka-Seltzer chaser. There is something sensual about tearing the leaves off an artichoke, dipping them into hollandaise and pulling the leaves through your teeth. In fact, anything that can be picked up and dipped is sensual. Asparagus spears are considered an aphrodisiac and are sexy to eat. Strawberries dipped in chocolate make a definite statement - or invitation. And chocolate is also considered an aphrodisiac because it increases your serotonin level and makes you feel good all over.
Shrimp cocktail served in a martini glass or a fresh baguette torn into pieces with your hands and dipped in olive oil and parmesan is a sensual experience. Make your dinner all finger foods, and remember that it's good for the soul, and the sensuality levels, to play with your food. Look into his eyes as you pull the artichoke leaves through your teeth or put that whole strawberry into your mouth. Let him know that he is the focus. And after a gratifying, romantic evening, promise yourself that this won't be the last. You don't want to repeat it every week, but once a month would keep those fires burning.
Enjoy each other. Treasure the relationship you share. Make a commitment to put the romance back into your relationship.
Happy Valentine's Day!
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