Boomer Advice Needed

I received the comment below from one of our readers, Linda, and it broke my heart that I didn't have any good advice to give her. I'm opening it up to all of our Well Past 50 readers and I'm hoping that one of you has dealt with an experience like Linda's and can offer her the fortitude she needs to keep the weight off. Please add your comments!

"I am 59 years old. I work full time and go to school a couple nights a week. If all goes well, I will graduate this year. To my question: I have been overweight nearly my entire life. From a plump baby to a chubby pre-teen to a big-boned teenager who never had a date, I was always lonely as a child. I was just over 200 lbs when I graduated high school. I moved away from home and Mom's good home cooking; I lost 70 lbs in 6 months (actually too much too fast), gained a waistline and boyfriends.  Within 6 months I was married and pregnant. I gained 40 lbs with that baby. It took forever to lose that weight. And it has been constant yo yo dieting from then on. I had a hysterectomy at 50, and it has been a losing battle ever since. No matter what weight loss plan (and believe me I have probably tried them all), nothing seems to work. At 59, I am 220 lbs (the fattest I have ever been) and miserable.  Have  you any idea what can help me, or am I stuck living like this?"

Comments

[Barbara]

First of all congratulations to Linda for keeping up her education. That is to be commended! You sound like you have a lot of "drive" and determination - now just focus that on your weight. Start small - go for a walk everyday. Around the block, and then increase your distance. You don't have to make some big plunge into weight loss. Just take the small steps and then look how far you have gone.

[Marty]

I am 57. I was very tiny (105 lbs.) until I had my first baby. It was hard to get the weight off then, but I got back to 125 lbs. After 7 pregnancies and lots of yo-yo dieting (which I now believe added to the problem) I landed at 170 lbs at age 32. I have been 195 lbs (5'3") since I was about 40. It caused me great anxiety and stress, and I was miserable about it for years. Especially as I looked at my thin mother and sisters. About 12 years ago I happened to see a photo of my Grandma when she was 50 and I looked just like her. I looked at my dad and realized I had inherited his figure, not my mom's. I found some other photos of Dad's cousins, grandmother and aunts and saw that we all had the same shape by the age of 50.

Then I started really listening to the women around me and it dawned on me that most were extremely unhappy with the way they looked, especially their weight issues, and it didn't matter that many of them were tall and thin and beautiful. They complained and worried about it all the time. I decided that I would accept my fate, similar to accepting that my legs are shorter than I'd like and my boobs are larger than I'd like, and stop whining about it. I'd eat healthy, exercise, etc. when I was motivated, but I would stop beating myself up about it.

I have a fabulous haircut, I regularly update my look at the makeup counter, and I read everything I can about using color, shape, texture, etc. in clothing to create a balanced proportion. I love fashion and buy what makes me feel good about myself. And I look great. I'm not skinny, but I'm stylish and confident. I have fun at restaurants, I travel often and try the cuisine, I'm a good cook and I now enjoy it. I think I'm a lot more fun to be with than my sveldt 5'9", 125 lb sister-in-law that is obsessed with her weight. In a magazine layout she'd be beautiful. But at a party I'd be more attractive, because I'm relaxed and having a great time. It's not just about weight!

[Regina]

What is holding Linda back? An insurmountable task of losing 50 lbs? OK maybe don't lose 50 lbs. Lose 10. Then lose another 10. Feel good about yourself and buy yourself a new outfit and get your hair done (like Marty). I know what hormones can do to your body - and maybe seeing a doctor might help trouble shoot a weight issue that is escaping you. There are answers! Keep perservering until you find the answers!

[Jo-Anne Baker]

Linda it is not a diet that will help you lose weight it is a life style change. As a researcher into ageing in a positive manner the best diet in the world is the Okinawan from Japan, as the people who follow this diet have lived to be the oldest, fittest and healthest in the world. They also have daily exercise, family and community connections to give them a sense of meaning. I believe that through your ability to emotionally support yourself ( as you have done to go back to study ) you can do this to create a new healthy lifestyle for yourself and family.

[Healthwiser]

The advice I would give is not the generic stuff that you see mostly but you need specific guidance on exactly how to eat for best health. Your weight is only a symptom of healthiness but not the only one. It is a visible sign that things are not what they should be and exercise is not the answer. Your body should be at the weight your genetics were programmed for. If you provide the right nourishment for your body, your weight will take care of itself. That means you don’t have to exercise to maintain your ideal weight. I have started a blog to give people a fun and easy way to change eating habits and I have seen it work 100 percent of the time. If you are interested send me an email and I will send you the link as I don’t think it’s proper to post it here. I have just started the blog so there is not much there now. But I already have most of the information written down so it is just a matter of organizing it. Basically there is a way to eat a lot of good, normal food, whenever you want and still maintain an ideal body weight without exercise. I know it sounds crazy but I haven’t found anything better. All of this stuff about emotional eating, worrying about weight, exercising for hours or popping pills to lose weight is just not normal.