Well Past 50: The Weblog of Boomerful.com

A New Lease on Life!

Board member, Diane Fall, speaks from experience regarding education providing a new lease on life.  She got her Masters degree at 49 and began a new and exciting career as a Marketing Development Specialist and Gender Equity Coordinator for a college.  Here’s a women who can tell you how rewarding education can be – at any age!

EDUCATION: Your New Lease on Life!

“Sometimes questions are more important than answers.”  - Nancy Willard

You are going about your everyday routine, and life seems to be sailing along as usual, and suddenly you feel an old familiar urge, or maybe a longing. You just feel unsettled.  There is something missing in your life, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.  Maybe you have gone through a change in your life that has made a shift in your perspective such as; retirement, the kids are grown and off on their own, you are suddenly single (or not so suddenly), or perhaps your job just doesn’t provide the punch or zest that it once did.  You may be a great candidate for returning to the classroom!

The idea of life-long learning is a wonderful philosophy to carry no matter your age or lifestyle.  More and more adults are making their way back to school.  Whether it’s to take a few brush-up sessions on the computer, quench the fires of a creative urge for an art class, or complete a formal degree, education can be just what the doctor ordered and your proverbial “new lease on life”!

There is nothing more satisfying than completing an educational goal. If your dream is to complete a formal degree, there are some great surprises in store for today’s student. Courses are no longer limited to a traditional classroom setting.  Correspondence classes have been in existence for several decades, but now there are even more options! Students can choose:

1.    The traditional classroom model,

2.    find a classroom via the computer by logging in on-line (e-learning), or

3.    combine both of those models in what is called a “blended” format.  Blended classes allow students the flexibility of logging in on the computer for their assignments and homework, and then joining a “seminar” usually held once a week. 

Intellectual stimulation helps us all stay mentally alert and active, but there are other advantages to enrolling in a class.  Not only will you gain the knowledge shared in a class or workshop, the fringe benefits can be even more beneficial.  The high potential for networking can be phenomenal.  Imagine joining a group of individuals who also share the same interests such as religious history, completing a GED, or line dancing.  What a relief to know that you are not alone in your interests!  Great friendships can develop, and at the very least, you are spending quality time following your bliss.

How do you locate these opportunities?  In almost every area of the country you will find formal education at local colleges and universities. These schools also hold workshops and some college credit classes can be audited for a reduced price.  Interested in learning more about a specific subject such as health food or cycling?  Then stop and think of who would be the local experts in your area of interest.  Look for stores that sell related products and ask the staff for referrals on workshops or classes.  Need to be retrained for employment, but do not know where to start for ideas?  Again, contact your area college and university career centers.  Many of these centers staff expert career counselors to help you formally assess your interests, abilities and values to aid in the best work place and career options based on your answers to career related questions specifically for you! If you are a lay-off survivor, visit your state’s workforce development office for programs designed to help you not only with an assessment, but sometimes with tuition aid. 

Life-long learning is a beautiful thing, it can offer us a fresh look at our lives, and can stretch and challenge us in ways we never dreamed possible. Give it a try, invest in yourself.  And as the old saying goes, “today is the first day of the rest of our lives”.

Ageless Feminism: There's Still A Passion for Equality

I had lunch with my dear friend, Sue Golden, last week. This adorable, sweet and feisty lady is well past 80 – but I didn’t want to be the one to tell her. She obviously lost count some years ago and considers herself – well – ageless.  She rarely has time to fit me in for even a quick lunch.  She’s too busy representing political candidates, attending Board meetings and working tirelessly for social change. My hope is that I will develop her energy, intelligence and passion as I grow up.

Over lunch Sue stated emphatically (everything she says is stated emphatically) that young women today just aren’t taking social responsibility as we did in our youth – especially where their own freedoms are concerned. Because I have a teenage daughter, that accusation has bothered me for some time. Is it true that young women today are more concerned with breast implants than social change? Are they even aware of what we went through just to bring society to the point where gender discrimination is recognized? 

Not only does it appear to be true, but it seems that many young women today see our struggles as comically antediluvian. We fought to control our own lives – they seem determined to turn control back to husbands, boyfriends and bosses - going as far as announcing their sluthood on the fronts of their T-shirts, and reading books like The Rules, that encourage coy games as a way to trap a man.

In the sixties and seventies what we fought for as feminists was equality with men - in politics, the job market and on the home front. Today feminism is portrayed by our conservative leaders as a cause shared by women with an imbalance in chromosomes trying to undermine and belittle men.

In Maureen Dowd’s book, Are Men Necessary, she laments that "The beginning was about not being a sex object, and now women are turning themselves into self-actualizing sex kittens and looking for their inner slut..."  As the mother of a young daughter, her words send chills down my spine. Yet I look at my daughter and I see a girl who is strong, self-possessed, compassionate and totally committed to her beliefs. There is a segment of the young female population who promise hope for the future.

I heard Gloria Steinem say recently that the college girls she speaks to not only understand feminism, but are still working hard to attain equality. Even though outward signs would indicate a loss in individuality and even self respect in young women, many next-generation women are committed to the idea that they can achieve anything they want in life – as much or more than their male counterparts.

But it’s still not an even playing field. Women are still paid less than men. Women still hold fewer positions of power, both in the corporate and political worlds. And women are still treated as second class citizens by way too many men throughout the world. The Equal Rights Amendment is still not a part of our Constitution. 

Those of us who lived through the feminist movement and the sexual revolution have to re-ignite our passion for equality in order to foster that passion in our daughters and granddaughters. We must teach them what it means to take responsibility for the direction our society - through our votes, through our involvement in politics and business, and through our lives as shining examples. 

I think we grew tired after the seventies. I think we believed we had done our part. Yet I look at Sue Golden, a spitfire at 80+, who will fight for social equality until she dies, and I realize that the battle can never stop.

Girls today have no way of imagining what life was like for our mothers, when the only careers women could hope for were as secretaries or teachers - when shorthand was the only means of ensuring job security. They have never felt the camaraderie of an impassioned group of people, fed up with the glaring lack of “liberty and justice for all”, bonding together to empower an entire gender. We have to pass those stories along, the way our grandmothers passed along their stories of fighting for the right to vote in 1920.

The next Sue Golden is out there. It could be my daughter. It could be your daughter. Whoever she is, it’s up to us to make sure that when she emerges, we will be there to fight with her, the way Sue has spent her life fighting for us.

Getting the Bra Rolling...

Catherine Schuller (right) travels around the country for CurveStyle teaching women about how to choose the right bra. Catherine will be featured in a video segment of Well Past 50, but until then she’s helping us out with some very useful information on a topic that still confounds women – especially those of us whose perky young breasts have headed Southward. Here's what she has to say about finding the right bra...

Finding the right size bra is not as easy as it sounds. Recent statistics prove that 80% of women are wearing the wrong size bra. Besides detracting from a flattering silhouette, wearing the wrong size bra is not conducive to good breast health. If a fit is too roomy, support suffers and chafing occurs, and if a fit is too tight, pinching, binding, skin denting and circulation problems can result.

It is recommended that breasts have “free time” from bras daily - preferably more than 12 hours of your day should be bra-free. Giving the breasts some restful, breathing space will first and foremost help the lymph flow within your breasts.

And, when choosing a bra, be fitted by a professional. Yes, you can do it yourself, but for the first few times, getting it done professionally is suggested, not just for the measuring process, but also for the formula for sizing.

What to know about getting a bra fitting:
The band size (or chest size) is the number part of your bra size. The cup size is the letter part. EX: if you are in a 38 C then 38 is the band circumference and C is the cup. Let someone measure you for the best accuracy.

A measurement CAN be done over the bra you are wearing AND over your T-shirt. Don't wear a thick shirt like a sweatshirt or sweater and avoid wearing a padded bra.

Try on different styles of bras. Every style fits and fills different and can "shape" your breast differently. Different styles also complement different outfits, especially the fabric that tops are made of.

Finding the band size:
Have someone measure around your chest with a tape measure, just under your breasts, and around the back. Make sure the tape measure rests flat on the skin and goes straight across your back.  The industry standard dictates that bra band sizes are only even numbers (i.e., 34, 36, 38, 40, 42…). If the measured number results in an “odd” number, add 5 inches, if the number is even add 4 inches. 

If you have large and/or sagging breasts, pull up on your bra's shoulder straps so that she can get the measuring tape under your breast for an accurate measurement. It’s important to get them up off your rib cage to get the true band size. Not all fittings will tell you the exact proper size, but it’s a way to start shopping and trying on so you are in the ball, er, “bra park.”

Finding the cup size:
Measuring the cup size is trickier; even with a measurement it is better to try on different bras and find out experimentally which one fits. Have someone measure you again, this time the measuring tape goes on top of the fullest part of your breasts. If you already own a well-fitting non-padded bra, you can wear it while taking this measurement as long as it doesn't 'flatten' your breasts (which would make an illusion of a smaller cup size). Record this number, and find the difference between that, and the band-size number. The difference tells you the correct cup size as follows:

Difference: (inches) negative < 1, 1", 2", 3", 4", 5", 6", 7"

Cup size: AAAA or AAA, AA, A, B,C,D, DD or E, DDD or F, DDDD or G.

Remember again, bra measuring is not exact science. And how could it be when women's breasts come in so many different shapes and sizes? Usually one breast is bigger than the other, they might sag, etc. So the fitting room tells you the truth; not the tape measure. You have to try the bra on. If it fits right, that's your bra size even if the tape measure told you different.

When you try the bra on, industry standard dictates that the second hook is the “true hook” to be fastened. Lean slightly forward, allow gravity to help the breast tissue to “fall into the cups” and slowly straighten your posture, putting the straps up on each shoulder as you do so. To adjust and get it to sit right, you should pull the bra, not the breast to manipulate it into place...carefully.   

Your bra should fit snugly around and you should be able to fit one or two fingers under the band comfortably. If you are pulling down the back strap or pulling up on the shoulder straps throughout the day then the band size (the # part of your bra size) is too big. If the band can easily be pulled away from your body, or if the band rises up your back, then go down one in the band size. Raise your arms up and move them around a bit to make sure that the bra will fit snugly during regular activity. If your bra fits correctly, it should NOT be painful or uncomfortable to wear at anytime during the day.

If you are wearing an underwire bra, the wire that comes up between the breasts should lay flat (or as close as possible) to your breast bone. If you are wearing a bra with no underwire, you should have two separate breasts, not just a one big boob.

If the bra is a soft cup bra you shouldn't have any extra, gaping fabric. If the bra is a molded cup you shouldn't have any extra room in the cup. Your breast should completely fill the cup. If it is gaping and the band feels fine then go down in the cup size.

You don't want to be spilling out of the cup. Not from the top, bottom or sides. If the band feels fine then go up a cup size.

If have a small frame or are petite, and you find a bra that fits the band, and you don't quite fill the cup and you have already tried the next cup size down and it's still not quite right OR if the you have the "right" size, the band fits and you fill the cup, but the wire is poking your underarms, then try a Demi bra. A Demi style bra is different from a full coverage bra and has less wire, by about an inch or more.

Don't rush trying on bras. Really pay attention to how they fit and feel. Go bra shopping when you know you have the TIME for it. Many women have had to take up to an hour, or more, trying on several different sizes and styles to find the bra with the right fit and feel.

Here are some Web resources that offer guides for choosing the right bra and also offer many different styles:

• eplussizebras.com – lists dozens of sites.  Something for everyone!
• Find the right bra for your teenager at KidsHealth.org - a guide especially for teen girls.
• For a comfortable bra, try Decent Exposures, sizes from from 30AAA to 60J, custom-made if needed, personalized service.
• CustomComfortByPaula.com Custom-Fit Bras that can fit a woman 28-52 A-LL and bigger. The bras do not have underwire and are EXTREMELY supportive. Paula Eisenberger.
• FigLeaves.com has a large selection in sizes.
• Bare Necessities - sizes 30AA to 52J. See all styles marked 60% to 69% off at BareNecessities.com.
• One of Oprah’s favorite bras is the Tisha bra and is sold through “Tupperware” type house parties from a company called Essential Bodywear.  Many women are hosting parties as representatives and providing a much needed service of bra fittings and promoting great European type bras…adding an income source by giving them the training and product to have their own bra business. www.essentialbodywear.com

Always Time for a Career Change

Mary is on the Advisory Board of Well Past 50. As a Board member she brings with her 60 years of success in motherhood, business, marriage – in life. Whatever Mary does, she does it well.  That’s not to say that she hasn’t had challenges and hurdles like the rest of us. But when Mary faced problems in her marriage, with her children, or in her career, she has turned the negatives into positives.  She is one of the women I admire most among my peers. Her entry to the blog will show you why.

What am I thinking?  I have an attractive job, which I like. I’m good at it. The salary is fine and the benefits are great. I’ve been in the same industry for ten years so I know it pretty well. In fact, I often get calls from business peers who consider me an expert!  Not sure that I’m good enough to qualify in a court of law, but you get the point.

With all that said, there’s a reason for my opening question. I’ve decided to make a career change. No big deal as it seems to be the M.O. of today’s professionals. But – they’re young and fearless. I’m well past 50 and nearing an age when most people are retiring and settling into a different lifestyle.   

So what the heck AM I thinking? I’m thinking that I want to start doing what I really want to do. I know retirement is not the choice for me. Not yet. And, I want to feel as passionate about what I get paid to do every day as I feel about a special volunteer project, a great book, or a glass of good wine. I don’t consider for a minute that I won’t be good in my new role – passion brings out the best in me. It also gives me self-confidence, which provides a certain respect from clients and co-workers because it shows. Being 60 is not even a part of the equation – at least in my mind. My skills have come through years of working with a variety of people; on good and bad projects; through fat and lean times. All have contributed to that self-confidence. 

I, of course, had to think this through financially. I find it sad that benefits have now become as important as salary but I’ve made that work, too. 

I will continue to have a salary and benefits that work for me and my family. But, I will be adding the passion that makes my eyes shine and the drive home each night one of anticipation, as I plan what great things are going to happen tomorrow and how my contributions are going to make a difference – even at my age! 

I admit that I get a little torked when people say to me – “You’ve got to be kidding!  You’re changing jobs? I would think at your age you’d be retiring.”

So, I guess I’ve answered my own question. I’m thinking that I’m doing just what I want to do – even at my age.

Things You Should Know by 50...

There are certain things you simply should know by the time you hit 50. How to choose a moisturizer for your skin type; how to know when your husband wants to see you in naughty lingerie instead of flannel; and how to order wine in a nice restaurant. You SHOULD know, but do you? With the great work of the California Wine Council in recent years, we’re all drinking more wine - yet many, many women still don’t know how to choose a wine, how to order it correctly in a restaurant, or what to do with it when they get it.

If you entertain often, it is essential to have several good bottles of both red and white wines on hand, along with your everyday drinking wines. Everyday drinking wines are the ones that you don’t have to ration at ½ glass a day in order to be able to afford them. I have searched and tested and searched some more to find the very best values in both good and everyday wines – just for you.
Good Cabernets at a reasonable price are fairly uncommon, although I do like Sterling Vineyards Napa Valley Cabernet and Chateau St. Michelle “Indian Wells” Columbia Valley. For a great bargain Cab there’s Jacob’s Creek from South Eastern Australia. Some Chilean Cabs offer good values, too, but you’ll need the assistance of a knowledgeable wine salesperson to help you find them.

I love good Zinfandels, and they are much more affordable than Cabs. Murphy Goode’s Liar’s Dice, Norman’s The Monster, and Seven Deadly Zins are all around $15 and enjoyable to drink. I drink Pinot Gris in the summer – usually King Estate. It is light, crisp and refreshing.  And I really enjoy Acacia Chardonnay with its combination of fruit and oak.

It’s important to learn what you like in a wine so that you can describe it accurately. I’ve had friends describe a very dry Zinfandel as “sweet” because the wine is “fruit forward."  Wines can be “earthy”, “spicy”, “firm”, “muscular” – much like the men we searched for in our youth.

White wines, like Rieslings, are often sweet, while Sauvignon Blancs are bone dry whites with lots of fruit flavors that make them light and refreshing. Wines have flavors of chocolate, berries, citrus, black pepper…even stones. I rarely get the subtle overtones of coffee or licorice when I am enjoying a good Zin. I have learned that the Zins I especially like are “big," “complex” and “jammy."  So that’s what I tell the helpful wine purveyor when I’m shopping for something new.

It takes time to learn the subtle nuances of wine, and you can never learn about all the wonderful wines out there – there are just too many. So how do you buy wines you will like?  Learn, as I did, the basic characteristics you enjoy in wine. Learn enough about the options to know what you should have on hand, and ask lots of questions. When you are ordering in a restaurant it’s actually easier than buying in a liquor store. There are three simple, foolproof methods to ordering perfectly for a group:

1. Ask the waiter. If you’re in a nice restaurant the waiter should be familiar with the wines on the wine list. Ask your guests what they will be eating, then tell the waiter your entrée choices and ask for a recommendation. He/she should be able to recommend a wine that will go with the entrée choices.
2. Remember – light foods, light wine; heavy foods, heavy wine. If you are eating salads, fish or chicken, a light white wine, such as Pinot Gris or Pinot Grigio – (same thing), Sauvignon Blanc or a medium-bodied Chardonnay would be a refreshing accompaniment. A heavy, oily fish, like salmon requires something more full-bodied. If you’re eating steak or lamb, a red wine like Pinot Noir or Shiraz will compliment the food better. If you don’t know wine, don’t order heavy reds, like Cabernets. They can overwhelm many foods, need more time to breathe than other wines, and sometimes haven’t aged long enough to be palatable to a casual wine drinker. You don’t want the wine to become the focal point of the meal, so play it safe and go with wines that are very drinkable. Look at the prices on the wine list and choose one of the wines mentioned in #2 that is somewhere in the middle price range. The cheapest wine could be awful – the most expensive is not necessary.
3. Order a glass of whatever wine you would like and ask your guests what they will be having. When the waiter brings your bottle to the table for approval, actually look at it and make sure it is the wine you ordered. Restaurants will generally not switch brands of wine without telling you, but it is not at all uncommon for them to switch years of the same wine because they have run out of the year you requested. The wine they bring you could be worth considerably less than the wine you ordered. If there is a question in regard to the year you ordered, don’t hesitate to ask for the wine list back. You have just as much right to receive the right wine as the right entrée!

Once you have approved of the bottle, the waiter will uncork the wine. More sophisticated waiters will simply set the cork on the table. Others may hand you the cork, and stand there expectantly. If you feel like smelling the cork, go ahead, but unless the wine is in very bad shape (or you are wine expert Robert Parker), you are not going to be able to tell much. Instead, first look to see that the cork is not crumbly or soaked completely through. Either could indicate a problem with the wine. Second, check to see if the name of the winery is on the cork. Believe it or not, some of the more expensive wines are actually counterfeited, i.e., the wine is served, then the bottle is refilled with a cheaper wine and re-sealed (truthfully, your chances of this happening are about the same as being hit by lightning). If you do notice anything that looks peculiar about the cork, speak up! 

Next, the waiter will pour a small amount of wine for you to taste. Before you taste it, smell it! If the wine is bad, you will often be able to tell just by the smell – you do not want to taste a bad wine unless you have to – the taste is very hard to get out of your mouth. By the way, a “bad” wine does not necessarily taste like vinegar. More often it will taste strongly of must or mold (again, the chance of getting a bottle that has gone bad is fairly remote). Generally, it is not acceptable to send a wine back simply because it is not what you expected, or you are not crazy about the taste. Unless the waiter has pushed an unfamiliar on you, the assumption is that you have some idea of what you have ordered. Bear in mind that a wine (particularly a red) that is fresh out of the bottle will often taste very different 15 minutes after it is opened.  So when you are offered the taste, just take a small sip simply to determine that the wine is not bad.  Whites can be drunk immediately, but with a “big” red (e.g. Cabernet Sauvignon), have the waiter pour some in the glasses to breathe for ten minutes or so.  You’ll be amazed at the difference.

Never, ever be intimidated by wine. It’s a wonderful treat to be enjoyed, and, except for a very few connoisseurs, we’re all in the learning process. Who knew education could be this much fun!

Retreat Destination: Michigan

The last retreat I went on was my trip to Colorado.  For possibly the first time ever, I had relaxed into the feeling that I deserved solitude. I reveled in the experience of having someone take care of me. I embraced my independence, and felt myself filled up with the energy and creativity that stress had robbed from me. So when my beloved friend Woody asked me, for the umpteenth time, to join him and our mutual buddy, Theresa, at his cottage in Michigan, I forced myself to give up my need to control my family’s every move and joined them. 

Woody’s cottage was built by his grandfather in 1922, on the banks of Lake Leelanau, and little has changed inside the cottage since then. Aside from the indoor plumbing, the family has been steadfast in their efforts to maintain the look and feel that Grandad was striving for when he found the remote beachfront property and built a getaway for his family nearly a century ago.

Leland, Michigan is no longer remote – it has become a popular summer tourist destination.  But the cottage rests on a secluded parcel of land, with nothing to disturb its expansive view of the lake.  Inside the cottage, memorabilia fills every bit of wall space – from pictures of Grandad at thirty-two, to Grandad at 103, to animals carved from driftwood that Woody and his brothers sculpted during their childhoods. It is a virtual museum of Perkins family history, and the unfamiliarity of such deep tradition touches and intrigues me. We spent the first night examining every photo and child’s painting and antique kitchen tool – questioning Woody about every memory attached to the physical remnants of his family.

Our curiosity satisfied, we sat by the fire, sipped wine and compared our childhoods to the childhoods of the privileged Perkins children. Privileged, not because they had money or influence, but because the family had a deep sense of tradition that every generation honored more than the last. I settled in and began, once again, to believe I deserved this holiday from the office, responsibility for my husband, and worries about my teenagers.

The three of us quickly released our attachment to control and began to act like teenagers ourselves. We wandered through the charming little tourist towns buying fudge at the fudge shop and bags of cherry jams to take home. We sampled quiches and white fish at every little restaurant we found along the way. We climbed Sleeping Bear Dunes until our legs ached. Then we sat in front of a raging fire in the old stone fireplace in the cottage. And we sat.  And we sat, filled with love for each other, and contentment with our lives. 

I don’t know if Leland, Michigan really does hold magic that other little waterfront towns don’t hold.  But I do know that contentment is often lost as we struggle to meet deadlines, manage responsibilities to others, and deal with the urgency of the mundane and the meaningless.  Colorado, Leland, Michigan, and a million other destinations hold the magic to restore our contentment and keep us forever young.

No Pain, Some Gain with Thermage

Flying home from a speaking engagement in California, where everyone appears to be barely post-pubescent, I was doing even more in-depth research on staying young than usual. There, on the cover of my favorite women’s magazine, was the solution I had been searching for – Thermage.  Thermage is a technology for tightening skin and building collagen using radiofrequency energy.  Don’t ask me how it works – it’s just friggin’ magic. 

According to the Thermage PR, the technology heats up your collagen, causing deep structures beneath the skin to tighten. Like I said – magic. The best news is that Thermage is an in-office procedure that takes about an hour, is non-invasive and you can go right back to work afterwards…if you don’t mind co-workers asking where you got the sunburn.

I tracked down the doctor mentioned in the article, called immediately, and was able to schedule an appointment in just 2 months. In the meantime, I asked everyone I knew what they had heard about Thermage. The responses I got included stories of intense pain, terrible reddening of the skin, and questionable results. I knew results were gradual, and pain doesn’t frighten me, so I wasn’t deterred.

Prior to my appointment I was given a prescription for a topical anesthetic, which the nurse applied to my face when I arrived. She then covered my face in Saran Wrap and told me I needed to let the anesthetic set in for a half hour. I asked if I could take the pain killer I had brought with me and she said “yes."

After I had marinated in anesthetic for the appropriate amount of time, the doctor came in and explained that he would be using the ThermaTip device to deliver radiofrequency energy to all parts of my skin from the eye area to just below the chin.

I braced myself for the intense pain I had heard about. What a pleasant surprise - I felt virtually no pain for the entire procedure, except for the last couple of touches on the under side of my chin. I do have a high pain tolerance, and I certainly was protected by anesthetic cream and pain killers, but this procedure was nothing like the painful experience described to me. I know there are those of you who will want to tell me how your experience differed, and I would certainly welcome a different perspective.

BUT DID IT WORK?  This is a tough procedure to evaluate, because it does take time to show results, and when you look at that face in the mirror every single day it’s hard to see gradual changes.  Having said that, I would still say that I think it made a difference in the tightness of my skin. It was inexpensive compared to a facelift (I paid $1400), took only an hour, and required no recovery time.  And since I found it painless, I would definitely do it again.

I had the treatment two years ago and I understand there are newer Thermage treatments now, with faster, more visible results. I’d love to hear about the newer Thermage treatments, how they feel, and if the results are more dramatic.

Taking Control of Our Own Health

For several years my dear friend Sandy has told me about a remarkable woman named Sheree DeWulf.  Sandy traveled with Sheree as she desperately sought a cure for her “incurable” cancer. I wanted to hear her story for myself and share it with anyone who might be helped by her experience.  I called her and we met at Starbuck’s.

Sheree found a lump in her breast 11 years ago, while taking a shower. She went to her doctor immediately and had a mammogram. Nothing showed up on the mammogram and her doctor told her it was probably a cyst. Sheree insisted on an Ultrasound.  The Ultrasound showed “something”, but still her doctor was not concerned.

Sheree had a history of constant bladder and kidney infections and had previously scheduled an appointment at Mayo Clinic to determine the cause of the painful infections. Having received no satisfaction from her own doctor, Sheree asked for a biopsy of the lump in her breast at Mayo. Not only was the lump malignant, but there were two other satellite tumors in her breast. She had a modified radical mastectomy and reconstructive surgery.

Even though the doctors were telling Sheree there was no cause for alarm, the shock of finding that her body was capable of harboring a potentially fatal disease made Sheree re-evaluate her habits, her lifestyle and her faith.  All needed attention.  Sheree’s faith became her mainstay, guiding her calmly through the terrible years to follow.

Sheree was to have six months of chemotherapy. She asked her doctors for any information they could give her on treating the cancer naturally – diet, supplements or anything else that might help the chemo work. She did her own research, determined to make changes in her life that would help her heal. She showed her doctor an article about nutrition and its effect on cancer.  His dismissive reply was, “Don’t believe everything you read.”

After completing the series of chemotherapy treatments Sheree was to follow up every three months, then every six months, and finally yearly. During one of her annual visits Sheree told the doctor of back pain she had been having for a year and a half. Again the doctor was unconcerned.  Again, Sheree insisted on an X-ray. There was a tumor on one of her vertebrae.

Sheree knew there was no remission with metastatic cancer. Her chances of survival were slim. She woke up regularly in the middle of the night, sobbing convulsively – desperate to have more time with her children, and certain her time was nearing its end. As her chances of survival grew weaker, her faith grew stronger.

Chemo had been terrible. She didn’t want to repeat the experience. Sheree found a center with an excellent reputation for treating difficult cancers only three hours from home. Sandy insisted on going to the center with Sheree. When they met with the doctor assigned to Sheree, they were told that Sheree’s condition could be “controlled” with tamoxifen and radiation. When pressed for more information on how it would control the cancer, the doctor admitted that it would only control the pain – the cancer would kill her regardless of any treatment.

Outraged by the doctor’s bluntness, Sandy went to the center’s administrator to complain about the insensitive treatment her friend had received.  “He TOLD her she was going to die!”  Sandy’s normally sunny personality turned deadly serious. “We need POSITIVE help here!"

There was one treatment that could extend Sheree’s life by five years at best, Sandy was told. Possibly by then there would be a more effective treatment. It was a stem cell transplant, and they began preparing for the procedure. Part of the preparation was more chemotherapy. Sheree grew weaker and weaker from the chemo.  After one month of chemo her scan showed a spot on her arm.  The next month there was a spot on her spleen.

Sheree was too sick for more chemotherapy. She would need the stem cell transplant immediately.  She applied to her insurance company and was refused on the grounds that their research showed the chance of survival no better with a stem cell transplant than with the treatment she was already having.

Three weeks after being turned down, Sheree got hepatitis.  She saw her doctor the Friday before Mother’s Day and told him with unwavering conviction, “I will not spend Mother’s Day in the hospital. It is the last Mother’s Day I will have with my children. I’m not giving it up.”  As Sheree related this part of the story to me she stopped, choked back tears and said, “I don’t relive this very often. It’s hard to think about those feelings."

“Until that time,” Sheree told me, “I had put my health in the hands of the doctors.  I was eating nothing but sugar – you crave sugar when you have cancer. No one would tell me anything about what I should do about my diet or my cravings. They didn’t tell me anything except – we’ll do more chemotherapy.”  A friend told Sheree of a clinic in Utah that combined traditional and non-traditional methods to treat cancer. A team of medical and non-medical personnel incorporated essential oils, a raw food diet, organ cleansings, and massage therapy into a regimen of chemotherapy. Sheree and Sandy jumped in the car and drove the 1300 miles to Provo.

“Sandy never let me get down,” Sheree told me. “We shopped, we ate, we drank and we laughed – and laughed – and laughed.”  Sandy slept in the room with her, sometimes sitting in a chair, afraid that if she left Sheree’s side she would die alone before Sandy returned. Sheree’s treatments, at $2500 a week, included more than physical healing – they included emotional healing as well. Sheree was taught to speak in terms that didn’t sabotage her subconscious, and practiced emotional clearing and forgiveness exercises. She was told that she must learn to make herself calm, to think about herself and concentrate on healing. She learned about the poisons in the medications she was taking and the poisons she takes in every day in shampoos, toothpaste and cleaning solutions.
She went from excruciating pain to feeling fabulous. She stopped taking all of her meds except one and had the first normal scan she had had since the cancer was found.  Life was looking up.

A year later her condition began to reverse. She and Sandy went to the Hoxey Clinic in Mexico where Sheree took herbal tonics. She visited a Naturopath and took dozens of supplements. Nothing was working.  She called Sandy and told her she was too depressed to face more hospitals or debilitating treatments. There was nothing more she could do.  Sandy reminded her of a treatment they had heard of – a treatment of supplements from a company that had shown remarkable results with a variety of serious illnesses.  “It’s worth a try,” Sandy told her.

Sheree bought $1000 worth of nutrients and began her fight once more. Within a year Sheree’s scans were clear, her pain was gone and her alkaline tests were normal (cancer can’t grow in an alkaline environment). Her bladder infections stopped, too, and her energy level went beyond where it had been before she got sick.

“My healing was based on a combination of things,” Sheree believes. “The cleansing, the diet and the supplements have made me well. I had a 72 year old man who had cancer for the second time call me. He followed some of my treatments and is now in remission. Different things work for different people, but I believe in getting your body clean and putting the right nutrients back in. I also believe in faith, laughter and the power of friendship. Sandy is my angel. Without her, I don’t think I would have made it.”

As I listened to Sheree I was reminded of Norman Cousins and his inspirational, Anatomy of an Illness.  He described his treatment regimen as megadoses of Vitamin C, along with a positive attitude, love, faith, hope, and laughter from watching old Candid Camera episodes and Marx Brothers films. "I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep," he reported. "When the pain-killing effect of the laughter wore off, we would switch on the motion picture projector again and not infrequently, it would lead to another pain-free interval."

Sheree’s recovery is nothing short of miraculous. I know that cleansing, diet and supplementation were an integral part of her recovery.  But when I see this beautiful, vital woman, with energy to spare, and I hear her story, I can’t help but believe that her determination to live, her faith in God, her positive attitud, and the laughter she shared with Sandy were just as important as anything she put into her body.

The good news is that Sheree is healthy, enjoying her granddaughter and helping others heal as she did. The bad news is that a recovery like Sheree’s is rare. Without the advantages Sheree had – the knowledge of available treatments, the support system, and a strong determination to live, thousands of people believe their doctors when they are told that there is no hope, and simply surrender to this terrible disease. Insurance companies turn them down for treatment, and our government refuses to allow people to choose their own course of action. We can’t reveal the names of the facilities nor the supplements that saved Sheree’s life. They could be shut down for publishing claims that don’t adhere to standard medical doctrines.

Every person who reads this may take a different lesson from Sheree’s experience.  But one lesson that all of us must learn and practice in our lives is to take control of our own health. Don’t accept what anyone tells you. Do your own research, have faith in your convictions, and love your body. It worked for Sheree. It could work for you.

We will be videotaping an interview with Sheree soon.  Watch for the video on our web site www.wellpast50.com.

Use Your Voice!

Many years ago I had a well-known newspaper publisher say to me, “You are a gifted wordsmith.  When you find your voice, you will be a gifted writer.”  My heart sank. I felt as if the stories I was writing were reflective, deep – perhaps even profound. I was stringing words together in ways that would surely have an overwhelming effect on my readers – if I had readers. 

Eventually I gave up deep and reflective, and concentrated on writing that would sell. I wrote childrens’ books for publishers in a voice they believed would be marketable. I wrote magazine articles about topics that editors said were timely. I wrote advertising copy for clients who believed my copy could sell their products. I spoke with everyone’s voice except my own.

When I started working on Well Past 50 I began to write with abandon. I began to talk to my peers about things that they, and I, care about. I had a platform to share ideas and actions that I thought would be helpful to others. I found myself allowing words to flow through me, instead of stringing them together because they sounded beautiful in the order I put them into. I found my voice and when I spoke in that voice, it felt like singing. It was no longer work, but a natural flow. 

Why is this important to anyone but me?  Because I believe so deeply that every person on this planet has a voice that needs to be heard. I believe that there is a time when everyone discovers their voice and has the opportunity to express what they were put on earth to express. It may be through art or dance or accounting. It may be through adopting a child or opening a coffee shop. 

Whatever it is that gives you your voice, I believe that it is necessary to embrace it. This is the time in our lives when we know who we are and we have much to offer. I watch my friends change careers, leave their marriages, move to new places – and I hope it is because they have found their voices and are anxious to let them be heard.  Like Lynne says, “There aren’t that many shopping days ‘til Christmas, Ladies.”  Let’s get those stockings filled.

Skindulgence Indulgence

When I first met Sheree DeWulf I was interested primarily in her story of fighting Stage Four cancer and winning. It was a fascinating and inspiring story. But even as you listen to Sheree describe the endless treatments, her setbacks, determination and victory over her disease, you can’t help but be struck by her outstanding looks. She looks radiant, healthy and strikingly pretty. For someone who has undergone years of illness, chemotherapy and radiation, only to be told she would not live another five years, the beautiful tanned skin and dazzling smile just don’t fit.

How does she do it?  “Well, I eat better now than I did before my illness. I take pretty good care of myself. When it’s ‘learn to take care of your body or die’ – you learn.  But I do have a wonderful secret,” she smiles and hands me a box with three plastic bottles in it. “Try this,” she says.  “You’ll be amazed.”

I bought the Skindulgence cleanser, mask and moisturizer; took it home; and painted the mask on my skin immediately. I wanted to look like Sheree. But I’ll let her tell you how she found this marvelous product and what it’s done for her:

While vacationing in Mexico I was introduced to a fantastic product called Skindulgence 30-Minute Non-surgical Facelift. The woman who told me about it was from Hawaii.  She was beautiful and her skin was radiant. It was hard to believe she was 49 years old. Her name is Swan and she owns and operates a Modeling Agency on the Big Island.

The majority of Swan’s models are over 35 and they all use this product – including Swan. Swan’s traveling companion, Cammy, uses the product in her massage therapy practice, charging $90 for a facial and 30 minute massage. It sounded too good to be true. But my skin was showing its age, and the effects of a long and difficult illness, so I was ready to try anything.

I was celebrating my wellness, which included too much sun, too much fun and not enough sleep. I bought the system and tried after a night out. I could hardly believe the results. All the tiredness disappeared from my face. My skin looked great, my makeup went on smoother, and because I looked better – I felt better.
The rest of my body peeled and flaked from the sun, but my face and neck (where I had applied the Skindulgence) looked great. 

Swan and I kept in touch and after several weeks of my success using her products, she asked if I would like to sell Skindulgence as a part time business. I didn’t want to work full time – my illness had made my personal time with family and friends too important to me. But I began selling Skindulgence to friends and I love it. The product sells itself and I wouldn’t be without it!  If there’s anything I can do to help women look and feel better, I want to do it.

Throughout the years I spent battling cancer I believed strongly that if I looked good, I would feel at least a little bit better. Every time I went for a treatment I would put on full makeup, do my hair and dress as fashionably as possible. People would say, “You look great”, and that gave me such a lift that I believed it added to my positive attitude during the process. Looking good really does help as much on the inside as it does on the outside.

I’m using the Skindulgence products and the response from my staff has been positive. However, they’re all wanting to borrow mine before they make the investment for themselves. It costs $129 for the kit and lasts 90 days.

Sheree’s web site is www.mylexxus.comshereedewulf. We taped an interview for the Well Past 50 video series that we will be posting soon. I can't wait until you see how terrific she looks!