While all of us search for that magic cream, pill or procedure to restore our youthful radiance, how do men feel about all this? The other night, out of the blue, my husband began to voice concerns about the change in focus that has taken place in my life. I asked him to share it with you. It may be a good conversation starter with your significant other:
Women seemed to be obsessed with looking younger. I guess I understand it, but what’s the cost versus the gain?
I know guys are supposed to go through mid-life crisis at an earlier age than women. Men are supposed to cover their fear of aging with sports cars and young girlfriends. I was lucky and missed that phase. I was too busy with small children and a new business, which came along at about the time I should have been reliving my youth.
I love my wife and, honestly, the way she looks to me is frozen in time. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, it just is. She sees negatives in the way she has aged that I don’t see, or don’t care about. I think she’s even sexier, in many ways, than she was when I met her.
My wife wants “procedures”. I’m helpless and don’t know how to react. If I say “you don’t need that done,” I don’t know if she’ll think I’m being dishonest or unsupportive. Depending on her perspective, I could be in trouble.
I could say, “If it makes you feel better maybe you should get something done.” Believe me this isn’t the right answer either. So I have tended to be as silent and non-committal on the subject as humanly possible. This tact can be interpreted as simply not caring. Her desire to look younger makes me feel insecure. If she has me, why does she need to look like she’s thirty? I don’t.
So she had a “procedure” and she looks younger. Now I seem older. Where does that leave me? I’m now the old guy hanging around this young chick. Should I be concerned? Will this put a strain on our relationship? Was I in trouble before and I didn’t know it? (Men are notoriously blind about such things.) Should I now be looking at a “procedure” myself so I don’t look out of place when we are in public? More insecurity.
As a man, the idea of “elective procedures” is a foreign concept. An insurance salesman once told me that, statistically, women go to doctors and live longer, whereas men prefer to just die. The insurance company paid either way, but the timing of the payouts was different. Now, not only is she going to outlive me, she’s going to look HOT when I’m dead. Still more insecurity.
Let’s face it, these procedures are painful and there are risks. So really, what’s the gain? Who are women doing this for, themselves, their spouses or their friends? Isn’t it at all important that the people in your life love you for who you are and what you do, rather than what you look like? Being as healthy as a thirty year old is a far greater benefit than looking like a thirty year old. And besides, I want to know that the years we’ve spent together are showing in both our faces.
I know pretty people are supposed to get farther in life. But where are you trying to go?
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