Little People

Last month I met with my "Hollywood agent" to discuss the future of Well Past 50 as a mainstream TV show.  “I love it,” she gushed over a glass of very freshly squeezed orange juice.  “This is the right audience; the right time…I think it can really be big.”

“Great,” I’m sure she noticed the surprise on my face. I had thought it would be harder than this. In fact, I found myself beginning to doubt her credibility. “What do we need to do next?”

“We just need a hook. A gimmick. Producers are looking for shows that are wrapped in something unique. Have you seen 10 Years Younger?  They pick women off the street, put them in a soundproof display case and ask passersby to critique them and guess their ages. They tell them what people said about them and they’re, of course, devastated. Then they have a squad of doctors and dentists make them look ten years younger. Something like that.”

I stared blankly into her 50 plus face.  “Do you really think that’s what boomer women want to watch?”

“That’s ALL I watch,” she said without a hint of embarrassment.  “That’s what sells.  Look at Little People Big World about a family of little people, or Black, White where a white family is transformed into a black family and vice versa.  It’s what people want to see.”

“So I should transform myself into a black person and get a little person as co-host?”

“Now you’re being silly. Just come up with a gimmick that will make the networks want it.”

So this is Hollywood. If I want to help women my age deal with the changes in their bodies, their marriages, their friendships and their spiritual growth, I need a gimmick.  I flew back to the security of the Midwest, where people prefer seeing black people being black people, and white people being white people. Or am I wrong?  Am I the only boomer woman who thinks reality TV insults our intelligence and, worse yet, insults most of the people who appear on these shows?

But then, 30 years ago, when my self-promoting banker friend suggested I adopt a flower as my brand and use it everywhere – a rose on my lapel, a rose on my letterhead, rose colored lipstick– I thought it was silly.  Maybe he was right.  Maybe all these years I could have been so much more successful if people heard my name and instantly wondered what in the world my rose fetish was all about.

And maybe if I interviewed aging experts inside a soundproof display case with a group of little people critiquing us, I’d have a successful show on my hands. Are there any little people reading Well Past 50 who want to be a star?  If so, contact my agent.

Comments

[meow]

I'm stuck on wanting to be in the glass booth so I can get the ten year younger make over .....