Practicing Acts of Happiness

Dan B. is a very dear friend of mine with very bad feet. He has been hobbling around his office for several weeks wearing a variety of orthotics that don’t appear to be easing his pain. His limping has become uncomfortable for coworkers to watch.

A few days ago Dan’s daughter was rushed to the hospital and admitted to Intensive Care with a serious breathing disorder. Dan returned to work the next day, obviously distraught and very distracted. I called and asked his secretary how he was doing. “He’s not limping,” she said.

It took me a few seconds to grasp what she was getting at. Then it sunk in. Dan was so consumed with worry over his daughter that he no longer felt the pain in his feet. My heart went out to Dan. It takes a lot to take your mind off excruciating pain in your body. He was dealing with some very strong emotions. Dan’s mind had turned off his pain by refocusing on something far more important.

The mind can create pain where none exists, and it can erase pain when our energy is required somewhere else. Pain forces us to focus all of our attention to what’s happening in our body. The more we focus on the pain, the more we become aware of its intensity. Even minor discomfort can turn into disabling pain when we allow ourselves to concentrate on our distress. But when we force ourselves to concentrate on something other than our bodies, pain diminishes, and sometimes miraculously disappears, like it did in Dan’s case. 

I experienced the pain phenomenon when I had a particularly difficult root canal. I took my IPod, loaded with Josh Groban and Mario Lanza tunes (when Mario hits those high notes in Be My Love, you could be ripping my molars out with pliers and I wouldn’t notice). Not only did I make it through the root canal with no discomfort at all, I didn’t want it to end. I rarely take the time to let myself become totally immersed in the sentimental music I love. Josh and Mario serenading me at eardrum-shattering volume magically transported me from the dentist’s chair to a moon-drenched rooftop, where I glided and swirled in a long white gown, held close in the arms of Mario himself.

Everyone may not need the same level of drama and romance that I require to escape the anxiety and pain of dental work – although if you haven’t glided and swirled in the arms of Mario Lanza, you should try it for your next extraction. But, even the American Association of Endodontists encourages members to use relaxation techniques to lower patients pulse and blood pressure during procedures. One prominent endodontist reported “physiological changes” in patients when these techniques are used. He believes, “There is a direct correlation between anxiety and pain threshold.” He creates an anxiety-reducing atmosphere with soft lighting, classical music and scented candles – the tools used to help achieve a deep state of meditation.

Meditation has helped millions of people deal with and even overcome pain. And, even though it may sound intimidating for those who haven’t tried it, meditation is very simple to practice in 15-20 minutes a day. Hayhouse.com and wildmind.org have meditation CDs for everything from managing stress, to manifesting, to overcoming fear and eliminating pain. It’s worth the investment. Tai Chi not only reduces pain by putting you into a focused state of relaxation, but tones muscles and improves balance in the process.

Several types of yoga are proven effective in reducing pain.  And, no, you don’t have to bend yourself into a pretzel to receive the benefits.  Even practicing acts of happiness – watching comedies, laughing for no reason, singing loudly – can reduce the risk of infection, boost our immune systems, improve brain function, and sometimes completely eliminate pain. Dr. Kathleen Hall, author of A Life in Balance, suggests the following exercises to live a happy life. A large part of our happiness comes from what we practice every day, so practice, practice, practice.

1. Attitude of Gratitude.  It is physiologically impossible to be grateful and experience stress at the same time.  Research shows grateful individuals report having more energy and less physical complaints than their non-grateful counterparts. Studies tell us daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and happiness.
2. Choice.  Every moment of our lives is a choice and every choice we make has a huge ripple effect.  If we choose to commit to practicing happiness and optimism, we can transform our lives.
3. Proactive.  We shouldn’t be the victim of our lives by constantly responding to other people’s lives.  If we create a plan with our passion and live in a proactive manner, we will become the hero of our lives, not the victim.
4. Smile:  Begin the practice of intentionally smiling.  A scientist studying facial expressions tells us that when a person has a smile on their face, they release more serotonin and endorphins, happiness hormones, than nonsmilers.  Thich Nhat Hanh and his Holiness the Dalai Lama are adamant that a smile is the first step to a life of mental, physical and spiritual health.  Begin a practice of smiling to shift any situation into an optimistic opportunity.
5. Laugh as often as possible to release the healing hormones endorphins, the body’s natural pain killers.  Instead of  buying pills for our stress, we can go rent a funny movie, or go online to a humorous site daily and share it with our co-workers.  Laughter lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones and boosts our immune function.
6. Play.  Re-establish “childlike” qualities.  Science tells us when we play it increases our immune cells that combat disease.  Playfulness also increases creativity and optimism at home and at work.
7. Health. It is essential that we focus on the health of our bodies. When we care for our physical bodies we create greater possibilities for happiness. Our bodies are our greatest asset, so please care for them tenderly.
8. Spirituality.  The vast number of happy people have developed spiritual practices that nourish their heart and soul.  Discover what brings your soul passion, love and fulfillment.  Our spirituality is what roots us in our lives.
9. Altruism and Philanthropy. A generous soul lives a rich, abundant life.  Altruism neutralizes negative emotions that affect immune, endocrine and cardiovascular function.  Altruism creates a physiological responses or “helpers high” that makes people feel stronger and more energetic and counters harmful effects of stress.
10. Forgiveness. Happy people know forgiveness sets the soul free. A famous person said, “Living with resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.”  Open your heart to the gift of happiness by letting go of pain, judgment, anger and resentment.