I had lunch with my dear friend, Sue Golden, last week. This adorable, sweet and feisty lady is well past 80 – but I didn’t want to be the one to tell her. She obviously lost count some years ago and considers herself – well – ageless. She rarely has time to fit me in for even a quick lunch. She’s too busy representing political candidates, attending Board meetings and working tirelessly for social change. My hope is that I will develop her energy, intelligence and passion as I grow up.
Over lunch Sue stated emphatically (everything she says is stated emphatically) that young women today just aren’t taking social responsibility as we did in our youth – especially where their own freedoms are concerned. Because I have a teenage daughter, that accusation has bothered me for some time. Is it true that young women today are more concerned with breast implants than social change? Are they even aware of what we went through just to bring society to the point where gender discrimination is recognized?
Not only does it appear to be true, but it seems that many young women today see our struggles as comically antediluvian. We fought to control our own lives – they seem determined to turn control back to husbands, boyfriends and bosses - going as far as announcing their sluthood on the fronts of their T-shirts, and reading books like The Rules, that encourage coy games as a way to trap a man.
In the sixties and seventies what we fought for as feminists was equality with men - in politics, the job market and on the home front. Today feminism is portrayed by our conservative leaders as a cause shared by women with an imbalance in chromosomes trying to undermine and belittle men.
In Maureen Dowd’s book, Are Men Necessary, she laments that "The beginning was about not being a sex object, and now women are turning themselves into self-actualizing sex kittens and looking for their inner slut..." As the mother of a young daughter, her words send chills down my spine. Yet I look at my daughter and I see a girl who is strong, self-possessed, compassionate and totally committed to her beliefs. There is a segment of the young female population who promise hope for the future.
I heard Gloria Steinem say recently that the college girls she speaks to not only understand feminism, but are still working hard to attain equality. Even though outward signs would indicate a loss in individuality and even self respect in young women, many next-generation women are committed to the idea that they can achieve anything they want in life – as much or more than their male counterparts.
But it’s still not an even playing field. Women are still paid less than men. Women still hold fewer positions of power, both in the corporate and political worlds. And women are still treated as second class citizens by way too many men throughout the world. The Equal Rights Amendment is still not a part of our Constitution.
Those of us who lived through the feminist movement and the sexual revolution have to re-ignite our passion for equality in order to foster that passion in our daughters and granddaughters. We must teach them what it means to take responsibility for the direction our society - through our votes, through our involvement in politics and business, and through our lives as shining examples.
I think we grew tired after the seventies. I think we believed we had done our part. Yet I look at Sue Golden, a spitfire at 80+, who will fight for social equality until she dies, and I realize that the battle can never stop.
Girls today have no way of imagining what life was like for our mothers, when the only careers women could hope for were as secretaries or teachers - when shorthand was the only means of ensuring job security. They have never felt the camaraderie of an impassioned group of people, fed up with the glaring lack of “liberty and justice for all”, bonding together to empower an entire gender. We have to pass those stories along, the way our grandmothers passed along their stories of fighting for the right to vote in 1920.
The next Sue Golden is out there. It could be my daughter. It could be your daughter. Whoever she is, it’s up to us to make sure that when she emerges, we will be there to fight with her, the way Sue has spent her life fighting for us.
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