We all value our friendships – especially those who have seen us through different stages of our lives, sustaining us through the changes we go through, while staying constant in their devotion. But what do those friendships actually DO for us? Is there value beyond the warm, fuzzy feeling from seeing those same familiar faces that look at us knowingly every time we succeed, fail, do something stupid, or just royally screw up?
According to studies, people who have close contact with friends live longer, healthier lives. In fact, people with extensive social ties live an average of 2.5 years longer than people who live isolated lives. Women especially, gain valuable benefits from their close friendships. While men are hard-wired to respond to stress with the “fight or flight” behavior necessary when they were cavemen, women are more likely to “tend and befriend”, an act that releases the calming hormone, oxytocin. The results of one study concluded that not having a close friend or confidante was as harmful to a woman’s health as smoking or being overweight.
And you don’t have astronomical monthly insurance premiums or expensive pharmaceuticals with this foolproof preventative. So why do so many of us put so little effort into something that not only makes us happy, but healthy as well?
Sandy and Geralynn and I plan a girls’ shopping weekend every year, which inevitably gets put off and put off until it actually only happens every third year. Jan and I plan to meet somewhere to discuss philosophy, religion and our children’s lives only once every few years. Sue and I continually promise ourselves a trip somewhere warm, a trip that has so far never materialized.
There is always something that takes precedence – business commitments, family responsibilities, financial burdens. Friendship is the first thing to be tabled for later when the stresses of life have us frazzled. Yet these relationships are the tonics we need to stay healthy. And when we ignore them, it’s the same as forgetting to take our blood pressure medication or our anti-anxiety drugs.
We’ve been told all of our lives that gossip with girlfriends is a silly waste of time. But it’s actually extending our lives, providing comfort during times of stress and giving us a sense of joy that only friendship with other women can provide. For Heaven’s sake ladies – make time for your friends! It’s important to your health.
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